Am I a Failure

Am I a failure?

I’m turning 25 soon, in July. I still live with my parents. I freelance as an independent filmmaker and I am a Tasker for TaskRabbit. I don’t make consistent enough money to move out yet, even if I’ve been trying for the past 2 years to get down to L.A.

Am I Failing?

Am I secretly denying myself the freedom I need to grow because I’m still living at home?

Am I stupid not to take up “any retail /customer Service Job”ย  just so I can make money and pay bills?

Am I silly or wrong if I’m not interested in finding my significant other when I’m still learning and finding out who I am still?

Am I stuck in this point of my life where some how other people seem to be knowing what they want and starting a family but I’m still here questioning everything I do ?

Am I suppose to feel this way?

Does anybody else feel this way?

Am I depressed or bored or both because I can’t figure out whats going on in my life?

Am I selfish if all I want to do is just be happy, have fun and live the life that I want?

Is this what people call a quarter life Crisis?

Is it wrong that I want to do more than just 1 thing ( Direct, act, create, produce, write, perform etc.) for the rest of my life?

These are all the questions that are going through my mind and I don’t have the answers to them. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing everything wrong and that everything I do is a mistake but then when I think back about the things I’ve accomplished and the people I’ve meet, I wouldn’t want to give that up. I don’t like the idea that I need to take an easy way out just to survive for a little bit.

I want the challenge.

But I know the challenge will also equal to the struggle.

It will equal to the fear.

The Doubt.

The pain.

But isn’t that life? WE have to go through the doubt, the pain the fear to move on and to succeed. I know I can’t grow if I’m stuck in one spot for the rest of my life, but maybe I can help myself by improving the spot that I’m in until I’m capable to get out of it.

Has anyone been through this? Are you going through it now? Any advice?

Let me know in the comments and I am open to all wisdom that is out there.

Xoxo Pinky


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